6.8
Conan the Barbarian
1982
The Gods need a hero.
Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.
Theseus is a mortal man chosen by Zeus to lead the fight against the ruthless King Hyperion, who is on a rampage across Greece to obtain a weapon that can destroy humanity.
Henry CavillTheseus
Mickey RourkeKing Hyperion
Stephen DorffStavros
Freida PintoPhaedra
Luke EvansZeus
John HurtOld Zeus
Joseph MorganLysander
Isabel LucasAthena
Kellan LutzPoseidon
Daniel SharmanAres
Peter StebbingsHelios
Stephen McHattieCassander
Greg BrykThe Monk
Alan van SprangDareios
Anne Day-JonesAethra
Steve ByersHeracles
Matthew G. TaylorMondragon (King's Guard)
Romano OrzariIcarus
Corey SevierApollo
Conrad PlaJailer
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Total failure of doing a movie with the aesthetics and success of "300". Mediocre story, bad planned action scenes, tons of Fx, poorly developed characters and tons of stereotypes.
Everyone talks about how _Immortals_ is a _300_ ripoff, and don't get me wrong, it absolutely is, but I haven't yet seen anyone talk about how it's also a bit of a _God of War_ ripoff. I'm actually quite fond of historically-set mythology films, but I don't believe the problem with _Immortals_ isn't the setting or the genre, it's the motivation behind its being made the way it was. The _300_ movie exists to be an adaptation of the _300_ comic book, the _Immortals_ movie exists because the _300_ movie made money. (Don't get me wrong, I know that the real motivation behind both these, and of any other studio film, is money. But someone involved somewhere has to want more from their movie than that. And _Immortals_ doesn't give me the vibe that anyone did). I can handle _Immortals_ doing what _300_ does. Hell, if enough people rip an idea off over a long enough period of time, in movies, we call that a genre. My issue is that it **only** exists to do what _300_ did, yet it does **all** of it so much worse. There are maybe two fights in _Immortals_ that last for longer than 30 seconds, even with all that slow-mo stretching the runtime, and neither are filmed as well as the ones in _300_. It's nowhere near as fun, it's not superior in any technical category, it's harder to tell what the fuck is going on. Even the acting, which is NOT _300's_ strong suit, is worse here than it is there. There were maybe flashes where you could glimpse a cohesive idea that desired to form, but it never even got close. _Final rating:★★ - Had some things that appeal to me, but a poor finished product._
Immortals is like stepping into a Greek mythology fever dream where everyone looks like they just walked out of a tanning booth, but hey, it works for the aesthetic. The movie is a visual powerhouse, with Tarsem Singh crafting a bold, surreal take on mythology that feels more like a painting in motion than your average action flick. The fight scenes are undeniably the highlight, stylized, brutal, and dripping with energy. Henry Cavill shines as Theseus, delivering a performance that feels grounded amidst the chaos, while Mickey Rourke's Hyperion brings an intimidating presence, even if his character lacks complexity. Where Immortals stumbles is in its story, which feels more like a vehicle for the visuals than an engaging narrative. The characters are serviceable, but most lack depth, leaving you wanting more from the emotional stakes. That said, if you’re here for striking visuals, intense action, and a unique twist on Greek mythology, it’s still a fun ride. Think of it as a movie you watch for the spectacle--not for the substance. Worth watching if you’re in the mood for a stylized, no-strings-attached mythological adventure.
The megalomanic Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) is bent on releasing the imprisoned Titans from their gilded cage deep inside the mountain. Using a magical bow and arrow he's stolen from Ares (Daniel Sharman) he is about to cause havoc when Zeus (Luke Evans) engages the services of Theseus (Henry Cavill) to help thwart his plans and thus save the Greeks from tyranny. With some sagely advice from John Hurt, he now embarks on a lively series of escapades that allows the full panoply of mythological beasts, a shirtless hero and lots of entertaining visual effects to fill a couple of hours. No, the acting isn't really great nor is the script, but it's a vehicle for some beautiful people to present some intricately choreographed action scenes whilst the CGI boys do their best to create an atmosphere that's ideal for this story of the mortal trying to save the day. Rourke delivers well, if really quite sparingly, as the menacing baddie and there's always Stephen Dorff to add to the bevvy of hunks on display here. If you like the genre, and I do, then this isn't really very substantial and the story all rather weak, but this isn't really about a story it's about a computer-enhanced aesthetic showcasing some handsome people plundering ancient legend for our entertainment. It's not "Clash of the Titans" (1981) but it's not terrible, either - and that metal roasting cow - yikes!
The Immortals is an absolute masterpiece of stylized action and grand-scale mythology, effortlessly earning a perfect 10/10. Director Tarsem Singh transforms every single frame into a breathtaking, living painting, blending high-contrast classical art aesthetics with brutally intense choreography. The story plunges straight into the legendary clash between mortal defiance and divine wrath, anchored by an electrifying sense of momentum, striking set pieces, and a commanding atmosphere that captivates from the very first minute to the last.
1982
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