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Conan
Loading…ConanSeason 3 · Episode 118 — One If by Land, Two If by Jetski
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Season 3 · Episode 118S3 · E118One If by Land, Two If by Jetski

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Episodes

159 in Season 3

  1. 1Superman Takes Ambien and Accidentally Sleep-Destroys Tokyo2012
  2. 2Saw VI: The Past Tense of See VI2012
  3. 3I've Got 100 Problems, and Yes, Karen Is One of Them2012
  4. 4The Day They Announced Five More Twilight Movies2012
  5. 5"Boo!", Said Boo Radley When Asked What His Name Was2012
  6. 6The Vague Man Who Said Something2012
  7. 7The Lorax XXX2012
  8. 8What Does Not Kill You, Only Makes You Decide to Sell Your Hang Gliding Equipment on eBay2012
  9. 9Dial N for "Not How You Spell Murder"2012
  10. 10Surprise, Fourth Graders, You're the Mets!2012
  11. 11The Unicorn That Hated Little Girls2012
  12. 12The Lion, the Witch, and the Ward Boss2012
  13. 13The Puppy Photo That Got 42 Dislikes2012
  14. 14Honey, Can You Please Help Me Open This Can of Whoop-Ass?2012
  15. 15The Announcer Who Couldn't Sing2012
  16. 16Star Wars Episode 7: A Cautiously Optimistic Hope2012
  17. 17The Narcoleptic Insomniac2012
  18. 18Conan's Got a Cold2012
  19. 19The Unfortunate Rap Career of Dr. Dreidel2012
  20. 20Melf Hunters 3: North Polin'2012
  21. 21The Grinch Who Returned Christmas for Full Store Credit2012
  22. 22The Present with No Air Holes That Stopped Meowing2012
  23. 23Whatever You Do, Do Not Do a Google Image Search for "Geese-a-Laying"2012
  24. 246 Resolutions Broken, 3 to Go2013
  25. 25The Guy Who Drove a Hummer and Wasn't a Total A-Hole2013
  26. 26Fool Me Once, Shame on You, Fool Me Twice, I Kick You in the Scrote2013
  27. 27Betty White's Bud in Bieber's Bong2013
  28. 28All Quiet on the Western Front, Until Someone's Car Alarm Went Off2013
  29. 29Smells Like Murder, But It's Probably Fish2013
  30. 30The Chamomile Conundrum2013
  31. 31Texas Chainsaw Seminar: How to Sell Chainsaws from Home!2013
  32. 32Siri, Where Is My Kidney?2013
  33. 33The Long Awaited Revenge of Zippy Smiles2013
  34. 34Step Up 3D 2: The Stepening2013
  35. 35The Least Fantastic Pants of Professor Downplays-His-Pants2013
  36. 36Sweet Home Al-Jazeera2013
  37. 37The Day the Mime Stood Still2013
  38. 38Watch Tonight's Show and Live Forever* (*This Claim Is 100% False)2013
  39. 39Occupy CONAN: When Outsourcing Goes Too Far2013
  40. 40The Day Lincoln Joined LinkedIn2013
  41. 41Charlie and the Chocolate Factory That Was a Front for a Sweatshop That Makes Gym Bags2013
  42. 42Yahtzee at the OK Corral2013
  43. 43The Strange Case of Case Strangerson2013
  44. 44The Postman Always Butt-Dials Twice2013
  45. 45The Walls Have Ears, and Other Side Effects of This Medication2013
  46. 46The Hunchback of Notre Dame Law School2013
  47. 47Love Means Never Having to Say, "Do You Think Your Friend Would Be Into a Three-Way?"2013
  48. 48The Surprising Bar Mitzvah of Seamus O'Flannery2013
  49. 49"Waka Flocka Flame," Said the Drunk Rooster2013
  50. 50The Roomba with a View2013
  51. 51The All-Girl Sausage Party2013
  52. 52You Have the Right to Remain Naked2013
  53. 53The Legend of Legend Cove2013
  54. 54The Exquisitely Subtle Beauty of a Perfectly Formed Badonkadonk2013
  55. 55Kathy, Will You Marry Me? Give Me Your Answer in Tomorrow's Episode Title2013
  56. 56Yes I'll Marry You, But My Name Is Karen, Not Kathy2013
  57. 57The Ex-Cons Who Discussed the Pros and Cons of Prose2013
  58. 58A Time to Kill Time2013
  59. 59The Octopus Who Was a Master Pickpocket in Highly Specific Circumstances2013
  60. 60The Sophomore Who Took a Year Off to Find Himself Unemployable2013
  61. 61Angels in Poorly-Made Devil Costumes2013
  62. 62The Man in the Gray Flannel Snuggie2013
  63. 63I Just Called to Say I Love Wheat Thins2013
  64. 64The Title with the Unnecessary Question Mark?2013
  65. 65The Auto-Corrector's Last Will & Testicle2013
  66. 66The Ginger Went Down to Georgia2013
  67. 67It's Not the Heatlanta, It's the Humidylanta2013
  68. 68Gone with the Wind, But Don't Worry, We're Insured2013
  69. 69The Show Where We Partied Too Much in Atlanta to Think of a Good Episode Title2013
  70. 70The Inspiring Journey of the Armless, Legless...Oh Wait That's a Snake2013
  71. 71The Surprisingly Non-Ostentatious Summer Home of King Tut2013
  72. 72Beer Squad: Battle in Sudsville2013
  73. 73Zero Dark Thirty: The Squeakquel2013
  74. 74The Episode Title WITH Misplaced Emphasis2013
  75. 75Keep Your Friends Close, Your Frenemies Closer2013
  76. 76Django Snowchained2013
  77. 77Auto-Corrective Asphyxiation2013
  78. 78Return of the Dawn of the Sequel III2013
  79. 79Are You There God? It's Me, a Courtesy Call from Time Warner Cable to Tell You About How Much You Can Save by Bundling Services2013
  80. 80Green Eggs and Ham and Trichinosis2013
  81. 81Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and the Ruination of His Middle Name2013
  82. 82The Episode Title with the Inset Box of Me2013
  83. 83The Court Martial of Cap'n Crunch2013
  84. 84Press "Pound" for Murder2013
  85. 85The Very Understated Adventures of Captain Beige2013
  86. 86There Is No "I" in Tim. That's How Unselfish He Is!2013
  87. 87IMDBCooper2013
  88. 88"Why Are You All Laughing?" Asked the Glass Blower2013
  89. 89The Princess and the P. Diddy2013
  90. 90Kentucky Freud Chicken and the Terrible Psychiatry Joke2013
  91. 91The Completely Flat Man... in 3-D!!!2013
  92. 92The Illegitimate Rise of Steve Bastard2013
  93. 93Butt-Dial M for Murder2013
  94. 94The Exotic Marigold Hotel 2: Dench Does Dallas2013
  95. 95The Man Whose Darkest Secret Is That He Kind of Likes The Wallflowers2013
  96. 96Alien Meets The Fokkers2013
  97. 97The Limber Chef Who Tossed His Own Salad2013
  98. 98Do Not Ask for Whom the Bell Tolls, Because It's Out for Its Annual Servicing2013
  99. 99Escape from Podcast Mountain2013
  100. 100The Fast & the Dealing-with-Their-Fury-Through-Journaling 62013
  101. 101The Announcer Who Repeated Himself. The Announcer Who Repeated Himself.2013
  102. 102The Mysterious Case of the Two Talk Guests and One Musical Guest2013
  103. 103Never Name Your Daughter Dilda2013
  104. 104The Road to Hell Is Paved with Good Intentions Brand Asphalt, Good Intentions Brand, Ask for It By Name!2013
  105. 105The Slowly Bobbing Adventures of Buoy Boy2013
  106. 106When Your Friend's Kid Just Starts Listing Dinosaurs, It's Okay to Give Him Beer.2013
  107. 107My Friend Went to the Ed Hardy Outlet and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt2013
  108. 108The Episode Where We Worked So Hard on the Show We Didn't Have Time to Come Up with a Great Episode Title, So Let's Just Call This One "Steve"2013
  109. 109The Day the Earth Stood Still Just Long Enough to Take One Good Selfie2013
  110. 110There, There, Don't Cry. Andy Just Went to Live on a Farm2013
  111. 111Zero on the Richter Scale2013
  112. 112Cheapskate Charley and the Taped-Up iPhone 3S2013
  113. 11399% Effort, 1% Milk.2013
  114. 114Dog Nerd-A-Palooza: Labradorks vs. Poodle-Dexters2013
  115. 115"What Is Jeopardy?" Said the Senile Alex Trebek2013
  116. 116Slow and Steady Wins the Participation Trophy2013
  117. 117Littering in London: Jack the Ripper's Lesser Crimes2013
  118. 118One If by Land, Two If by JetskiNow playing
  119. 119Dragon Hunt 2: Scorchy's Revenge2013
  120. 120My Big Fat Greek Landlord2013
  121. 121Journey to Joke Mountain 3: The Laughening2013
  122. 122Free Pizza for Everyone!* (*The statements made in CONAN show titles do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of this company.)2013
  123. 123Egg Police: Omelet You Go with a Warning2013
  124. 124The iTunes Update That Made All the Difference2013
  125. 125Now You See Me, Now You Put On Your Glasses and See Me Better.2013
  126. 126Conan and Andy's Laughquest '13 in 3D2013
  127. 127The Mysterious Case of No Wait We Did This One2013
  128. 128Goodfellas 2: Betterfellas2013
  129. 129The Touchscreen That Didn't Like to Be Touched2013
  130. 130The Self-Centered Man Who Called It "MeTube"2013
  131. 131DoubleVision Theater presents: 24 ANGRY MEN2013
  132. 132The Evil "S" Who Turned Laughter to Slaughter2013
  133. 133A Bar Walks Into a Horse for a Change2013
  134. 134The Man Who Would Be King, but Chose to Sell Home Appliances Instead2013
  135. 135Nurder, She Wrote without Proofreading2013
  136. 136Ted Nugent and Quentin Tarantino Present: Django Wango Tango2013
  137. 137The One Movie Even Nicolas Cage Wouldn't Star In2013
  138. 138Goodzilla: The Giant Lizard Who Taught Reading Skills2013
  139. 139The Fast and the Bi-Curious2013
  140. 140Mr. White Meets Mr. Extremely White2013
  141. 141Now Is the Winter of Our Disco Tent2013
  142. 142The Black Guy Who Had Almost Every Springsteen Album2013
  143. 143Word Is a Four-Letter Word2013
  144. 144The Microphone That Suddenly Went Off in the Middle Of2013
  145. 145Fast Times at Ridgemont Retirement Home2013
  146. 146Font Wars: Helvetica vs Calibri Part 32013
  147. 147A Word-for-Word Re-enactment of This Afternoon's Queen Latifah Episode2013
  148. 148Aaron Aaronson and the First-in-the-Phonebook Caper2013
  149. 149The Dog Who Had the Opportunity to Lick Itself But Politely Declined2013
  150. 150Throwing Shade Since 19932013
  151. 151Is Not In Right Now. Please Leave a Message After the Theme.2013
  152. 152Of Mice and Men and Their Mutant Offspring, Mice-Men2013
  153. 153The Asian Guy Who Actually Appreciated That "Good at Math" Stereotype2013
  154. 154The Westboro Baptist Church's Surprisingly Moving Stage Version of "Brokeback Mountain"2013
  155. 155Microwaving Fish at Work Is a War Crime2013
  156. 156Please Wait While Your Show Title Is Being Processed2013
  157. 157Two Decades, Two Laughs2013
  158. 158A Night of 1000 Laughs and 11 Deafening Silences2013
  159. 159That Spooky Night They Ignored Halloween and Showed Clips from the Last 20 Years2013
S3 · E118Conan

One If by Land, Two If by Jetski

7.2Talk, Comedy201042 min

Neil Patrick Harris, Shailene Woodley and comedian Dan St. Germaine

Up nextDragon Hunt 2: Scorchy's RevengeS3 · E119

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